making sure you keep dating your husband

My Husband’s Girlfriend

Pre-babies,  I judged frumpy mothers- with their mom jeans, their t-shirts and sensible footwear. I thought I would never be one of those women . . .  just like I would never let my kids sleep in our bed.


I looked in the mirror this week and saw that mom I laughed about years ago. I now know the wardrobe struggle. I go through multiple shirts to find one that doesn’t smell of baby spit-up.  Even the little guy noticed, then demanded, “TAKE DADDY’S SHIRT OFF!”

eyebrowsLife priorities majorly change after babies. That stereotypical mom I judged so critically needs practical shoes to chase kids at the park. She wears mom jeans to tuck in the post-baby flab that feels impossible to shed. Her clothes are hideous because she put her career on hold to ensure that her kids were primarily raised by her and not by a paid provider.

I’m okay with my body and my wardrobe– as unfashionable as it might be. BUT, I don’t want to be the frumpy, nursing bra wearing woman all the time.  I want to put on make-up, do something grown-up, and keep falling in love with the man I married. I can’t be put together all the time- it isn’t even my priority–  but I don’t want my pre-mom self to be entirely lost either. So this week I made a plan to have regular date nights to give myself and my man a little special attention. This means declining some opportunities for the kids to make space in our planners and pocketbook to prioritise our marriage. Because after-all, I am my husband’s girlfriend, and I want to keep it that way. Just no one tell my 20 year old self that I am desperate for a car with sliding doors. She would die.

Like the photo? Check out my gallery here for some recent fall photos.

My post on sex has prompted many interesting conversations this week, so I think I need to work on a second one.


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