I hear mom after mum irritated because she doesn’t feel connected to her husband. He’s not engaged in conversation; he’s not helping out around the house; he’s not playing with the rug rats. He’s just not emotionally available. When I hear this, I always ask what’s happening in between the sheets. The majority of the time? Not much.
When you aren’t putting out, there isn’t another acceptable forum for your husband to get his needs met. You hear me? That frustration leaks out in a variety of ways-sometimes passive aggressively and other times in a slow fade of intimacy. I’ve heard lots of excuses- stress, physical pain, the exhaustion from parenting, and a low libido. But moms, sex could be your antidote to all of these problems, and here’s how-
An orgasm releases oxytocin which decreases stress. So you have too much stuff to do? Add in one more (wink, wink) and scientifically speaking, you should feel better. Go ahead, experiment.
An orgasm also releases endorphins which naturally decrease pain. So that headache excuse? Theoretically, sex should do the trick. If you are too tired, the refractory period following orgasm helps the mind and body relax.
Moms, we have kids climbing on us all day long, so its hard to have someone else added to the list. I’m breastfeeding as I’m typing this post, and I have two older children who require a ton of energy. Since little people have to be held, fed, nurtured and chased all day long, isn’t it great to have someone hold you for once? Stop thinking about sex as another task, or that’s what it will become. Start thinking of it as an escape from the craziness, a chance to bond, to be loved, to reconnect. And frankly, if sex is simply another chore, you are doing it wrong.
If you have a low libido, that’s when marriage becomes selfless; participate anyway. In return, he might be more engaged, more affectionate, or practically speaking- involved around the house. Men often feel emotional connection when their physical desires are being met.
Also, consider this- researchers used to state that sexual arousal came before physical touch. However, data is now suggesting that for many people, physical touch is required for sexual desire. The problem is wives aren’t open to being seduced. They tell their man “not tonight” before anything is initiated. Instead tell the husband to put the kids to bed so you can take a relaxing bath, talk about what works well for you, and embrace your man. You deserve it.